I made myself sick this weekend.
I wish I was kidding and I wish I made myself sick because I was proud or excited about what I did, but I literally made myself sick.
Friday wasn't too bad. I stopped at Popeyes on my way to my parents' and ended up eating only my french fries because the chicken tenders grossed me out. I stopped a gas station and threw the rest of the bag out so I wouldn't be tempted to eat them even though I thought they were gross. Because I've done that before. Yuck.
We went to McDonald's for dinner and I got the two cheeseburger meal. Gave dad one of them and only ate half of my fries. I stopped when I was full and felt really good.
Saturday.. eh. Did two rounds of Zumba which was good, but my food was awful. We ordered Dominos that night. 'Nuff said.
Then there's Sunday.. ohhhh, Sunday. I ate breakfast. Then went to breakfast with a friend. Then I ate some cake. Then I ate another piece. I felt sick before I had even left the house for a Super Bowl party. I ate at the Super Bowl party until I felt sick. I drank two Coors Lights and felt even worse. As soon as we got home, I had to run for the bathroom and take some Mylanta. I spent the rest of the night like that. Then, woke up this morning with a food hangover. I could feel it in my throat. The thought of eating breakfast made me gag.
Why do I do that to myself?
I KNOW better. I AM better. But for whatever reason, as soon as I go home, I'm ready to gorge and I don't stop. I could at least be at peace - somewhat - with my choices if even though I ate crap, I didn't eat until I got sick.
I'm not going home until April and luckily, my next trip home is for something fitness-related, the Hyner Trail Challenge, so hopefully that will keep me on track. I'm afraid to weigh myself tomorrow for my weigh-in. I'm afraid to go to Zumba tonight and feel like shit the whole time because I haven't been eating right.
Gross.
:(