Lets start the year how I mean to go on. Avoiding doing my taxes in favour of a good rant. I like a good rant and this one I feel is well deserved. I'm sure I can't be the only person to have lifted their hands to the heavens and shouted "Oi Clarks NOOOOOOOOOO!"
My particular bugbear? The one that has really got the blood pressure rising? I can direct it to one person. Whoever it was who works at Clarks who woke up one morning and said "I've a great marketing strategy, lets put some toys into the soles of our children's shoes! The kids'll love that and they'll pester their parents into always making sure that it is a Clarks shoe on their precious offspring's foot".
Where do I start? Deep breaths and calming thoughts to stop the blood pressure from flailing off the radar.
1. If I want a toy, I'll go to a toy shop. If I want a shoe I used to go to Clarks as Clarks are well known for making excellent shoes that last and are good for childrens' feet. In what way is having a small toy shoved into the sole of their shoe good for their feet? Not to mention the rubbishness of the toy.
2. Have you seen how long it takes me to leave the house in the morning? Most of that time is spent screeching "will you just put your (goddamn bloody) shoes on!". I do not need anything to make this process longer. Do you know what makes this process longer? Either looking for the (goddamn bloody) toys and/or getting them back into the sole of the (goddamn bloody) shoe. Every morning I curse Clarks name.
3. Don't think that we'll bend to pester power here either. The ONLY reason that Luke has a pair of these shoes is that they were the ONLY pair of shoes in a 12H (yes people my boy has feet wider than your house). Trust me I looked high and low because I didn't want to buy a pair of shoes with toys in the soles because I knew, just knew, how it would end up.
Now my main preoccupation is how to furtively lose the toys but at the back of my mind is a little niggling worry about what happens to the big space where the toys used to live? Does it just cave in? Because that'll be comfortable. I guess we'll find out soon enough because the toys will get lost with or without my assistance.
Right, rant over. I feel better but I will still be cursing the name of Clarks tomorrow as we try to make it on time to school.