Christian Travelers Guide

Things never heard in my 1970s childhood

I like to think that we are giving our children a childhood not that dissimilar to our own. We do plenty of walks, tree climbing, bike riding and playground. The boys can watch TV but only after 5.30 until supper at about 6. They learn their spellings, eat their home cooked meals, bake cakes with me, go to bed about 8 and have to do what they are told - preferably first time.

But there are some big old differences. Here are some phrases I never heard as a child in the 1970s:

1. Which squash would you like? Pomegranate and elderflower or mango and raspberry? (As far as I remember it was orange, orange or orange)

2. Of course you can listen to that song again (pressing the back button on the CD to get to the beginning of the song is far easier than trying to rewind a cassette to the perfect start of song point)

3. OK, we are on the motorway, which DVD do you lot want to watch? (as opposed to counting the number of red cars on the other side of the road, fighting with your brothers or trying to read a book and then feeling sick for the rest of the journey)

4. Did you want to watch an episode of Deadly 60, I'll just see if there is one on IPlayer. (I don't remember videos or DVDs making an appearance until well into the 1980s. The thought that you could watch something on demand and not have to wait until next week to see the programme again would have blown my mind)

5. You are right, we have been waiting a long time in the Doctors waiting room. Here, have a go on Angry Birds on my phone until the Doctor is ready. (We always got 'a tough luck sunshine, we've got to see the doctor so just carry on waiting'.)

6. Yes Chip, Biff and Kipper are quite silly. (Although a massive improvement on Janet and John... )

7. You built a model of London at school and burnt in down in the playground to learn about the Fire of London (we NEVER got to do fun things like that at school!)

8. Just eat up your chorizo/pesto/humous/couscous/insert lovely food here (I don't even remember what we ate as children. Lots of fishfingers and sausages I think)

9. Did you just fall off the climbing frame? Poor you, did you hurt yourself? No, not too badly. Ok, well just be more careful next time (remember the concrete playgrounds? We didn't bounce back that fast after a fall onto one of those)

10. Is that another enormous, unpatchable hole in your trousers? Never mind, we'll see if we can get you a new pair at the weekend. (a new pair of trousers cost a fortune in the 1970s. No way would my parents have been as sangfroid about such destruction. So much cheaper now, which is a blessing the number of pairs of trousers we go through)

Anyone want to add any?